Wednesday, April 25, 2007

The B***h is Back!

Warning: This is a pissy post on a b***h. No, not a female dog.You may choose to skip this if you are looking for a post on food :p

She was missing for a month..

We whopped for joy and jumped in glee...wishing that she has resign, leaving us for good

Oh, I was so, so wrong!! ~*flashes of lightning, thunder rumbling in the background*~

I was rushing to the ladies just a while ago, my bladder was near bursting..high tide, high tide..
Rushed to my usual cubicle, only to find 2 large, black shoes prints on the seat!! The b***h is back!! yikes!!

You see, it all started six months ago, these mysterious black shoes prints started appearing on the toilet seats, usually once a week..What's so bizarre to me was the squat type of toilet was just next door..
So b***h, if you want to squat, why dont you squat next door?? Why do you want to balance on a toilet seat precariously while peeing??
I just dont freaking get it! tak paham, tak paham ni! Is it because:
  • She likes doing her stunt at high places?
  • She's a risk taker, even while peeing?
  • She enjoys dirtying the seat so that everyone has to squat, like her?!? (not that we'll ever squat on the seat)
  • She is a nincompoop who don't even know the proper use of a toilet seat?
This is so very frustrating. None of us know who she is, just that she does her act once a week (with that big, black, wet shoes prints of hers)..
Tell me, how can I stop her? How do I catch her??



Blogger Lyrical Lemongrass said...

1. Go around checking everyone's shoe size

2. Duty roster - u and ur friends take turns following anyone seen going to the toilet.

3. Start screaming bloody murder when you come back from the toilet.

4. Hidden camera.

5. Mirror under the door.

6. Remove toilet seat. More difficult to do balancing act without it unless woman has really tiny feet.

No. 6 may be a little more difficult. You will have to bring in your own toilet seat everytime u wanna do ur stuff.

25 April, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Arr... some maniac wreaking havoc ehh? First time hear it's a woman!

25 April, 2007  
Blogger Kenny Mah said...

Or you could just leave a sign saying, "If you step on the toilet seat, _________ [fill in the blanks with some awful thing to happen to her]"

But Lyrical Lemongrass's Suggestion #1 is by far my favourite... Imagine if you found the right size --- your Toilet Bowl Cinderella! Hahaha...

25 April, 2007  
Blogger boo_licious said...

well if once a week, maybe it's a cleaner? am sure they are the ones with the huge wet boot versus office shoes.

26 April, 2007  
Blogger tankiasu said...

Have you ever thought of the possibility that the black show prints belong to a HE!?

26 April, 2007  
Blogger Xiu Long Bao said... i get wat u mean! so the b***h has not been using the toilet for a month (???)

26 April, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Stick a notice saying "Whoever squat on the toilet bowl will not able to have children!"
Cruel enough? >:)

26 April, 2007  
Blogger sc said...

lyrical lemongrass: we actually did try to check out the shoe prints on the seat..the smart b***h dont even fully squat on the seat, the prints was kinda like a 'tiptoe' mark (great skills eh?). haha..2, 4,5 not possible..3, unless there's someone in the toilet that i can vent my frus on.. and the scariest s**t on point 6, the b***h managed to balance on the bowl too (not the seats) we know? saw the prints there too!

27 April, 2007  
Blogger sc said...

jason: some women are not so hygienic too you know...

kenny: we thot of that, but it may be the cleaners who may not even understand what we wrote! :(

trust me, it's hard to check the shoe size, some times, it looks like wellingtons mark, other times, it's tiny!

boo: usually it's once a week, but one 'good' days, the b***h does it 3 days in a row! :(. like what i mentioned to kenny, the prints differs, kinda hard to pinpoint..

tankiasu: at first we did, but after a while, noticed the prints were there during working hours too.. dont think a He would dare to pop in gwa..

xiu long bao: ya, missing prints for a month..but now, it's back!

jason: not really ler, what if she's an auntie who have lots of children dy? dont affect her wat..keke

27 April, 2007  
Blogger Precious Pea said...

Just couldn't help myself when i read this blog..haha..just can't imagine how people can be so uncivilised in today's world. Anyway, put some oil on the seat...hahaha..nasty huh?

03 May, 2007  
Blogger sc said...

hi precious pea! yup, there still people like that lingering around.. :(. oil on seat? what if i forget and sat on it! haha.. nasty alrite!

03 May, 2007  
Blogger pixen said...

Perhaps you can find who's been on leave or travelling outstation for 1 month and any new staff 6 months ago?

A Peeping Tom/Jane? If using the usual squat toilet you can't peep unless standing on the seating toilet...

I think putting up a notice of caution at the toilet door(s) is another way to let the culprit knows that people noticed and are watching :-D Draw a toilet seat with shoe marks and a Cross sign on the image with words underneath. I think even the foreign workers can understand the sign means.

This way, users will be more caution and on the look out.

To avoid get caught, the prints may be clean off by the culprit because she don't want to get caught by next user queueing outside the door by chance. It will stir up the question as why the seat was dirty yet the person just left the cabin using it - unless it is the culprit herself.

Just an idea in future..I hope by this time the action already stopped :-)

18 January, 2009  
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11 January, 2022  

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